I remember when our first child was born; I lectured my in-laws about screen time for our son. “We don’t want him in front of the TV at all.”

It was a lofty goal, but one we quickly failed to achieve.

We purchased just about every Baby Einstein video known to humankind. Our son loved them. I can actually remember his face light up, big smiles and bouncing in his little activity center seat. He’d always cry when the “static ball” scene appeared. 

Jane Tavyev Asher, MD Child Neurologist, shares advice for parents on what the appropriate amount of screen time is for children depending on their developmental stage.

How many of us have tried to limit screen time, only to cave and allow a bit more than we originally intended? And when it comes to screen time, things have become even more complicated with the rise of personal screens.

Small screens like smartphones and tablets can be incredible tools, but they can also have an impact on how our kids learn to interact with the world.

A recent study conducted at the University of California, Los Angeles, took two groups of 6th graders – the first attended a nature and science camp that did not allow electronic devices (I’m not sure I could survive!). The second group stayed home.

At the beginning and end of the study, both groups of students were evaluated for their ability to recognize other people’s emotions in photos and videos. The students were shown 48 pictures of faces that were happy, sad, angry or scared, and asked to identify their feelings.

They also watched videos of actors interacting with one another and were instructed to describe the characters’ emotions. In one scene, students take a test and submit it to their teacher; one of the students is confident and excited, the other is anxious. In another scene, one student is saddened after being excluded from a conversation.

The children who had been at the camp improved significantly over the five days in their ability to read facial emotions and other nonverbal cues to emotion, compared with the students who continued to use their media devices.

– Stuart Wolpert/UCLA Newsroom

The researchers concluded what we already know: kids can’t develop empathy staring at an electronic screen. They require human interaction for this important point of growth. When empathy is absent, apathy can fill that void.

Purposeful Interaction

Okay – so we limit screen time. But how can we build compassionate kids? How can we help create a framework for empathy? The answer: purposeful interaction. 

• Take time to identify emotions in others.

Ask your child questions when you see a good emotional example. “How do you think she feels?” “Is that man sad or happy?” Come up with stories to explain why a person might be smiling. Helping a child pick up on visual cues will establish a foundation.

• Set the example.

You will be your child’s first and best teacher. The sun will rise and set in your eyes. We all know that what we model, our children will copy. If your child sees you demonstrating empathy on a regular basis, she will follow suit. Dr. Robyn Silverman, a child development specialist, provides the following suggestions on modeling compassion:

1. Show compassion for other family members.
2. Show compassion for animals.
3. Show compassion for playmates.

• Let your child know you recognize his emotions.

Acknowledging that you are sensitive to your child’s emotional state and talking about it helps develop his ability to process emotions. In turn, he’ll be able to better understand emotions in others. Vanderbilt University provides a wonderful article on this very topic.

As we have mentioned in the past, one of the best ways to aid the development of emotional awareness and empathy is through regular interaction with other children and caring adults.

You know where I’m going, right? You can’t blame me – the Kindermusik curricula, the studio experiences and Kindermusik  for Schools, were built from the ground up with this in mind.

Among the host of benefits of regular group musical instruction is increased social and emotional development. And that, friends, is a great way to build compassionate kids…kids that are sensitive to the needs of others and possess the ability to express their own emotions in a healthy manner. And I bet we can all agree – the world is a better place when compassion and empathy are present.

Interested in a Kindermusik Class? Find a virtual or in-person session near you!